October 14

Today I did not walk. I did get up a little after 6 am and went through a bunch of manila envelopes that Ren had in his office. Daughter 1 had them lined up on a bin for me to get to when I was ready. A lot of them, actually most of them, were old tax returns. I put everything older than 7 years to be shredded. Daughter 1 came over and put out the trash cans—the recycle one was stuffed with papers, with more on the bench. She then helped me shred some of the docs but the shredder over-heated, so we had to stop.

After she left, I went through the remaining ones and tore off the sensitive info for shredding while recycling the rest. I was hoping less paperwork would mean the shredder would last longer, but I only did half of them. Tomorrow.

I typed up notes of which businesses I have called and what they said. It’s beginning to get confusing—so many notifications! When we get the Death Certificates, I can begin to knock off some of them. I hope.

And overall, I could feel depression coming on. I just felt down all day. The house was quiet and empty, and I felt lethargic. The neighbors next door sent flowers, and three condolences cards came. One said Ren could be curmudgeon sometimes—a friend from the fishing club—and that made me laugh. He said other nice things too, but it felt as if he knew the real Ren!

A nice tribute from the Art Club today. I sent it to the kids. It is interesting to know how others experienced him.

What will I do or be without him?