Wednesday October 19 

Minutia Squared: 

Yesterday AT&T to get phone changed to my name—1½ hours. Chase bank to get a new credit card—1 ½ hours plus. Today opening a new account to roll over Ren’s IRA to me. 2 ½ or 3 hours on Zoom!! 

Another 10 mins to find out Ren’s pension might not be switched to me for almost three months! I asked the man on the phone how I was expected to pay my bills. He suggested I submit a Death Certificate as that usually hurries along the person handling the account. Thank goodness I don't have children to feed!

Then I spent an hour or more trying to find out how many miles Ren had on our Chase Bank United credit card (now cancelled), so they can be credited to my United membership. Next, I have to get my signature notarized for them and upload it with a copy of the death certificate. I had to Google for notaries in my area.

I was mentally exhausted by the end of it all. I keep wondering what else will crop up. Like, what if the pension is not switched to me? How will I live? Sell the house? Where will I live?

If all goes well, (and I don't have to find a paying job), I am still wondering what useful thing I can do with the rest of my life. I can’t just hang out here doing nothing. I won’t rush anything. I hope the answer will come. The house seems so empty now—and quiet. Daughter 1 visits regularly, and her energy is uplifting. Anyone else who visits also takes me out of myself and my thoughts.

My British relatives have responded: Lovely cards from a cousin in Devon yesterday. Cousin in Kent texted this morning; Niece in London yesterday; cards today from cousins in  North Harrow, and their daughter and husband. Their son has texted several times. Cousins from Harrow-on-the-Hill have called twice, texted several times, and sent a card. Even another cousin's teenage daughter sent me a PM through Facebook. Uncle B & his daughter also called. So kind of all of them.

 

Ren was well-thought of by many people. It is so very sad that his last year was really miserable with the chemo side-effects. 

But how were we to know that the chemo would not work, that it wouldn't give him another remission? 

We hoped.